Man on roof – November 2021

my bloodshot eyes wax and wane
looking for the man in the vermillion suit
driven by obsession, consumed with fear
I can almost hear him laughing at me

his affection for high buildings makes my stomach churn
his crosshairs fixed on my body
he likes to play obnoxious games with me
shooting if I’m too slow, shooting if I don’t move

he shows up when I walk
like a captivating thought settles in the mind of a drunkard
he won’t leave me, death is inevitable
the only thing left to do is pray
not to one God, but to every God
anyone out there with an open ear

a woman my age from my street says hello to me
I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t even acknowledge her
I was headed toward the university
if only I could get there unharmed
I notice the pen in my hand snapped from me clenching it too hard
spilling blue ink all over my new khaki pants

I wish I was at home
the only sacred place in this neglected world
I wish my mind was in the gutter
chasing the superstars I saw on tv
anything but this

why don’t people want to get to know me
instead of taunting me everytime I step outside
why can’t I be respected like my father, a noble statesman
I know why
my muscle movements are not smooth enough
my words are not fluid enough
my expressions are not genuine enough

I am too weak to get ahead in this world
I must therefore live out this fantasy
until I reach the gates of purgatory