Dinner by the Bulwark – December 2021

it had been a long time since I’d seen anyone
I had just finished my latest meeting
I sat by the bulwark at the dinner table
several small fires began to form in my head

I feel myself start to glow a yellow-white hue
like Poseidon’s jewel, the invariable liferaft in this abyss
I’ve always been intrigued by their emotions
how they react so effortlessly to their jovial banter

soldiers are the only people that exist
in this make-believe world
even my own children are imaginary
love for someone else is just a mask for loving one’s self

I sensed a change in the wind outside
and saw him
a wild-eyed charcoal-colored time-traveling demon
sitting by the window

how could I ever move on if I don’t destroy my past?
his body sat confidently on the ridge
his bone structure different than the others
as a matter of fact, he had no bones at all

he was an invertebrate and see-through in natural light
he enjoyed smoking cigarettes
then eating the filters along with the adhesive
finishing his meal with some cheese-flavoured Play Doh mixed with bong water

his approach to life was the same one he took towards his eating habits
going after things he liked
like tormenting me and stealing my lucidity
every reality was now folding into one

I had been marked by God
my heart bleeding, my hands trembling
I needed to dispose myself of good intentions
and strike him right between the eyes

there was continuity between him and the rest of the world
I could notice my feet and body walking through the 36 chambers of death
the white temples of Jerusalem
my image was defined by these partygoers and their cabinets

the upper echelons were filled with landfill diplomats and justice warriors
fighting for nobody but themselves
their words a carefully crafted hypnosis
designed to lock the doors in your head and watch you fight with yourself

an hour of black (overwhelming hate)
an hour of white (bittersweet love)
all my life, I’ve been staring at the night,
waiting for it to say something

the world was inside out, and I knew it before everyone else
it needed rebuilding, repairment
elections that year were a photogenic lobotomy
leaving no one satisfied

so with rubber plugs in my ears
I open my arms and heart to the unavoidable disfigurement of this new world
so that maybe one day, when things cool down
I can come once again to a dinner party and chat about the weather

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